Course Lab
Interview with Penny van den Berg
Founder, GottaMinute; Military Veteran & Conflict Management Coach
Interview Summary
Penny van den Berg spent 25 years in the military, including a decade as a conflict management coach, before founding GottaMinute in 2023 to help introverted women communicate with confidence. Her Confident Conversations course caps at six participants per cohort, starts every session with a grounding exercise from her military de-escalation training, and splits into two halves — internal conversations first, then external. The structure reflects a core insight from the interview: confidence starts with how you talk to yourself.
Two Types of Conversations
The organizing principle of Penny's course came from a pattern she noticed during her military coaching work: introverted women didn't avoid speaking up because they lacked good ideas. They avoided it because they didn't have the tools or the confidence to express them. That led her to structure the course around a sequence that most communication programs skip. The first half covers internal conversations — understanding your comfort zone versus your growth zone, exploring how core and acquired values shape behavior, and learning about brain networks (the Default Mode Network and Task Positive Network) that affect creativity and problem-solving. Only after that foundation does the course shift to external conversations: addressing difficult topics, using "I" statements, and practicing active listening. "Women come in feeling unseen and unheard, often doubting whether they have anything valuable to contribute," Penny told us. "By the end, they're initiating difficult conversations at work, setting boundaries with family members, and most importantly, their internal dialogue has shifted." The internal-before-external sequence is what makes the change stick.
Women come in feeling unseen and unheard, often doubting whether they have anything valuable to contribute. By the end, their internal dialogue has shifted. That's where the real change happens.
Small Cohorts and Grounding Techniques
When Abe asked why the cohort is capped at six, Penny's answer was immediate: "Because introverted women need to feel safe. If you put them in a group of 30, they're going to shut down. That's the opposite of what we're trying to achieve." The small group size is a deliberate design constraint, not a scaling limitation. With six women, everyone gets to know each other quickly, everyone has space to practice, and — as Penny put it — "no one can hide." Before each weekly 90-minute call, Penny leads a grounding exercise to help participants regulate their nervous system. This technique comes directly from her military conflict management background, where de-escalation and emotional regulation are operational skills, not optional extras. The combination of small groups, grounding practices, and science-based content creates conditions where women who typically avoid speaking up begin finding their voice. For course creators working with vulnerable topics, Penny's approach is a strong argument that cohort size should match the emotional weight of the material.
If you put them in a group of 30, they're going to shut down. That's the opposite of what we're trying to achieve. With six women, everyone has space to practice, and no one can hide.
Experiential Learning Over Lecture
Every module in Penny's course has practice built in. The weekly calls aren't passive content consumption — they're structured sessions where women apply communication frameworks to real situations from their own lives. "You cannot learn communication skills by reading about them," Penny said. "You have to do them. And you need a safe environment to stumble and try again." Participants practice the specific models she teaches: addressing the impact of others' behavior, strategically pausing conversations, recognizing their own impact on others. Her background in psychology and specialized training in mediation inform the design — she knows that behavioral skills require repetition in context, not just understanding in theory. The outcomes reflect this approach. Penny described seeing women who started the course barely willing to speak in a group of six, and by the final sessions, they were initiating difficult conversations outside the course. That kind of transfer from practice environment to real life is what separates skill-based courses from information-delivery courses.
You cannot learn communication skills by reading about them. You have to do them. And you need a safe environment to stumble and try again.
Penny's Action Steps
Penny recommends these 3 steps to improve your course planning:
Cap cohort size to match the vulnerability of your topic
Penny limits her course to six women because introverts need safety to practice vulnerable skills. If your course requires participants to share personal challenges or practice sensitive skills, smaller groups (4-8 people) create the conditions for genuine participation.
Start each session with a grounding or transition ritual
A brief grounding exercise before each call helps participants shift from their busy day into a learning mindset. This is especially important for courses involving emotional or personal growth work — it signals that this space is different.
Structure internal work before external application
Penny builds self-awareness modules before skill-practice modules. If your course involves behavior change, help participants understand their own patterns first. That internal foundation makes it easier to implement new techniques in real-world interactions.
About Penny van den Berg
Founder, GottaMinute; Military Veteran & Conflict Management Coach
Penny van den Berg is the founder of GottaMinute, a coaching and education company for introverted women. A military veteran with 25 years of service, she spent a decade as a conflict management coach before founding GottaMinute in 2023. Her Confident Conversations course uses science-based content, grounding techniques from military de-escalation training, and small-cohort experiential learning to help introverted women build self-connection and communicate with clarity.
Listen to the full episode
From Course Lab with Abe Crystal & Ari Iny on Mirasee FM